I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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