i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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