I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
