You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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