yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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