hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
