Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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