WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ugly people sure do ruin things
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
