so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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