the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
