We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
