Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
