Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
