I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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