did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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