DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
