I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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