dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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