mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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