like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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