Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
