I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
