Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
