this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
