ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
