who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
