I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
