i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
