Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
