How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
