real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
