Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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