i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
