i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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