I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
