bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
pray to the hookup gods
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
