Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
