Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
