It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
