he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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