I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
