do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Say something about gay babies.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
