I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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