Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize