was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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