you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
