I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
