I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I love having hate sex.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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