Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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