Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
