forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
