awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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