I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
