the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
