never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize