I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
