This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
