Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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