his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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