Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you had me at cake vodka
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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