ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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